OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
