If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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