So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I'm always down for nudity.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
