you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
