the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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