So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
