My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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