Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
PANTIES FOUND
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
