ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
