...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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