the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
