The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
