Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
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