My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
