Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
