Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
