garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
