just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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