i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
