I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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