I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
