i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
