HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
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