Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
