at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
