I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
