you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
