afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
