My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
