So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
