Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i wish my penis had a tongue
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
