Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Sorry about my life...
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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