so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
