lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
