oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
