when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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