do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
