what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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