Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
