Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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