No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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