I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
