honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Why is there bacon in the couch?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
