it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
