If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
