So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
