Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
