Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Randomize
