Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
