part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you made out with another girl for some wings
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
